Another Reason to Be a Law-Abiding Citizen

When I was about 9 years old or so, my Brownie Girl Scout troop took a tour of the local jail. I have no idea why we did that, and I can't imagine hauling a couple of dozen little girls through a jail these days. But tour we did, and the only thing I remember about that day was making a conscious decision, right then and there, to never do anything that might possibly land me in jail. Why? Well, the toilets were in the center of the cells--with not even a curtain to hide behind--so if you had to go you'd be exposed to the other prisoners and the guards and the visitors and anyone who happened to be just passing through. That was so not gonna happen to me, no way. I'd explode before I'd drop my little undies and sit on what served as a jail cell toilet in front of people. Avoiding a life of crime seemed better than exploding, so I've managed to stay out of jail so far.

Now this guy, Sheriff Grady Judd of Polk County, Florida, has removed peanut butter from the jail's menu. He's trying to save money by changing some of the food the county serves to the inmates. "If you want to eat peanut butter and jelly and drink juice and caffeinated drinks, fine, stay out of jail," Sheriff Grady Judd said.

That's just fine with me. I am not going to debate whether inmates "deserve" peanut butter, the merits of saving taxpayer dollars, or the issues of the U.S. justice system. I'm just going to stick by the decision I made when I was 9, stay out of jail, use the toilet in private, and enjoy peanut butter when I feel like it. Here's to freedom!